This article is from a new project of mine called Y I Love Women. It’s less science and more blogging.
8 Noble Truths to Not Giving a S#IT
Be Yourself. Above all else, allow who you are, what you are, and what you believe, to shine true like the moon’s light that guides you among the night.
How I Quit Caring What Other People Think
This is an audioclip I made driving back to Plano over the weekend to see my parents. I kind of ramble but such is the nature of driving on 1-45 and trying to philosophize at the same time. Feel free to listen while you read.
The First Noble Truth
Most people couldn’t give a s#it that you are alive -inspiring I know! This theory is grounded in solid stats. I figure there are 7 billion peoples on this planet. I have 276 friends on the facebook. Therefore, most people do not know I exist. This same law applies to you, unless you are lady gaga. Embrace this for it will grant you freedom. The world is very big, you are very small, and thus you may do as you please.
How do I know this?
Besides being Buddha, I used to spend too much time caring. My thoughts often read like this: I wondered what she would think if I said that. I wonder what he would think if I did that.But what if I don’t call. What if I do? Should I text. Is that too forward. Do I sound too shy?
I look back and think holy f***. I was a people pleaser in the worst way possible. I didn’t want others to judge me so I sacrificed myself for everyone else. By worrying if i was cool enough for others, I was not being fair with me. What everyone else thinks is overrated. What you think is underrated. I say flip the script.
The Second Noble Truth
Respect what you parents have to say about life, work, relationships, condoms, etc. While it’s very possible they overexert themselves on your behalf, realize that regardless they want the best for you and love you more than they probably should. By no means feel obligated to live the expectations they have for you. Your parents grew up in a different era, with a different environment, and a different understanding of what is means to be successful.
The Third Noble Truth
Right now, someone is judging you and there is nothing you can do about it. Your job in life is not to please every person on this planet. You don’t need people to like you. Do you know what happens when people don’t like you?
……nothing. The world keeps spinning. The sun keeps shining. The tide still comes to shore. The world is already saved. So brush off the haters. They waste your time and energy.
The Fourth Noble Truth
Respect the relationship. Let’s assume you have more Facebook friends then me. A rock solid 1,000 close Facebook friends. Among these Facebook friends, 700 probably don’t like you. That leaves you with 300 close friends and room for 5-30 best friends depending on your sociality. According to my math, you only know about 0.000000143% of the people on the planet. Chill. Therefore, it is true most people on the planet don’t know you exist. NBD.
Here’s where the you need the people that love you for who you are part comes in. Relationships are like growing plants. They require you to plant a seed, take care of it, and grow it at your own accord. These people– your plants– understand your cause. They make you laugh, feel good, and at ease with being yourself. You’ve shared part of your life with these people. Cherish that. They’re important. Focus on fostering your people.
Find beauty in the imperfection.
When I talk about quit caring, I don’t want you to become some reclusive, empty, shell of yourself. I want you come out of your shell. We create a shell around ourselves because we are afraid. We are afraid to be in touch with what makes us human. Our feelings. We all have them. Our feelings are how we communicate. It’s how we know and understand each other. People say 90% of communication is non-verbal. A feeling is non-verbal. Language came about in part to allow us to describe how we feel. For words can never do the feeling justice. They can only create a fence around what we mean to say.
I still have periods of confusion, lack of self confidence, and embarrassment over my imperfections. We all do. It’s normal. What are you afraid of? We often limit ourselves because of fear. I limited myself because I was afraid of what other thought about me. What are you afraid of? Failure? You have to fail, so you can learn what it takes to succeed. How about Poverty? Poverty is a state of mind. I know of people from villages in Belize that have nothing according to American materialistic standards and yet they are happiest people I’ve ever met. Death? Hate to break it to you but we all have to die someday. Look in the mirror and tell yourself what is so dam scary. I promise when you say it to your own face and hear the answer, it will sound stupid. There is nothing to fear in life but fear itself. You are limitless. Remember that.
Slow Down. Take time to smell the roses. Don’t let life pass you by. This poem by David Weatherford really illustrates what I mean.It’s the last page in the 4HWW and It’s meaning can be felt in the depths of your heart and soul.
Have you ever watched kids on a merry-go-round,
or listened to rain slapping the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly’s erratic flight,
or gazed at the sun fading into the night?
You better slow down, don’t dance so fast,
time is short, the music won’t last.
Do you run through each day on the fly,
when you ask “How are you?”, do you hear the reply?
When the day is done, do you lie in your bed,
with the next hundred chores running through your head?
You better slow down, don’t dance so fast,
time is short, the music won’t last.
Ever told your child, we’ll do it tomorrow,
and in your haste, not see his sorrow?
Ever lost touch, let a friendship die,
’cause you never had time to call and say hi?
You better slow down, don’t dance so fast,
time is short, the music won’t last.
When you run so fast to get somewhere,
you miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day,
it’s like an unopened gift thrown away.
Life isn’t a race, so take it slower,
hear the music before your song is over.
The Seventh Noble Truth
Do you.
Being yourself is more than just being proud and comfortable with who you are. Being yourself means doing what is right for you. It may be a hard truth to swallow but your real job in life is to first and foremost do what’s right for you. If you are the verge of having a panic attack, it’s okay. You are unplugging from the matrix. Be advised, symptoms include nausea, vomiting, and the occasional s#itting of bricks.
The Eighth Noble Truth
Embrace your inner crazy. It’s what makes you YOU.
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